How to find your scent at forty-one and not regret it
She Found Her Scent at Forty-One: An Interview on How to Find Your Fragrance and YourselfHer name is Oksana. She is forty-one, an architect, lives in Lviv, has a twelve-year-old daughter, and a cat that no one asked for, but everyone loves. She agreed to ta...
She Found Her Scent at Forty-One: An Interview on How to Find Your Fragrance and Yourself
Her name is Oksana. She is forty-one, an architect, lives in Lviv, has a twelve-year-old daughter, and a cat that no one asked for, but everyone loves. She agreed to talk about perfumes — and ended up discussing everything else. That’s how it goes when you ask about scent. It reveals more than planned. She found her current fragrance by chance: a friend sent her a link to website, and there, among hundreds of bottles, one single note caught her attention, which she now calls "hers".
About How It All Started — and Why So Late
How old were you when you first truly chose a perfume for yourself, rather than just buying something?
Forty. Exactly forty. I even remember that day. I was standing in a store and realized: everything I have at home is either gifts or things I bought because I had to. Because it’s fashionable, because a friend recommended it, because my husband said he liked it. And not a single bottle that I chose just for myself, just because I wanted to.
That sounds like a revelation.
It was a revelation. A bit unpleasant, to be honest. Forty years, and I don’t know what scent is mine. It’s not just about perfumes, right? It’s about everything. I designed houses for other people for years and knew about every client what suited them, what light, what materials. But I didn’t know anything similar about myself.
What did you do with this revelation?
I went to smell. Without the goal of buying. Just to smell and honestly answer myself: do I like it or not. Not whether it suits me, not whether it’s appropriate, not what others will say, but just — do I like this or not. It turned out that I love dark fragrances. Heavy, resinous, with character. I would have never guessed before because I wore light and floral, because that seemed right for a woman.
How long did this search take?
About two months, taking my time. I would go into stores after work, without a list, without a plan. Sometimes I would leave without smelling anything because I wasn’t in the mood. Sometimes I would stand for an hour by one stand. It was a strange period, like getting to know myself all over again.
About Specific Fragrances and Specific Moments
Tell me about the first fragrance you chose for yourself.
Black Afgano. I smelled it and told the saleswoman: this is not for me, too dark. She remained silent. I left, came back fifteen minutes later, and took it. Because while I was walking, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That’s the answer to the question of how to find your fragrance: when you can’t stop thinking — that’s it. Black Afgano still sits on the shelf. Not every day, but there are days when only it will do.
And what about for ordinary days?
Baccarat Rouge 540. This is the fragrance I call my second self. The one that goes to work, to meetings, to people. Sweet-mineral, warm, with a depth that you don’t feel right away. Baccarat Rouge on me, as my colleagues say, feels somehow like mine. They don’t know the name, but they say: you seem special today. That’s what a right fragrance is — it becomes part of you, not just a scent.
Is there something you wear rarely, but love especially?
Megamare. Marine, salty, deep. I grew up far from the sea and always wanted to live by it. It hasn’t happened yet. But there is Megamare, and when I wear it, for a few hours I feel like I’ve stepped onto the shore. Not nostalgia for what wasn’t, but anticipation of what will be. A strange fragrance. Very much mine.
Is there a fragrance associated with work, with your profession?
Interesting question, no one has asked before. Yes, there is one such connection. When I’m designing something big, complex, I need a scent that keeps me grounded. Baccarat Rouge is just that. It’s structured, like a good drawing — nothing superfluous, but every detail is in place. Sometimes I think architecture and perfumery are very similar: in both, you work with what you don’t see immediately, but feel with your whole body.
About Your Daughter and How Knowledge Is Passed On
Is your daughter already interested in perfumes?
Oh yes. She is twelve, an age when everything is important and everything means something. She smells my bottles and asks what they are and why I chose them. And I tell her not about the notes, but about what I felt when I chose. These are our conversations, sometimes longer than dinner.
What would you advise her about fragrances?
What I would have liked to hear at twenty. Don’t rush to find your fragrance. Don’t buy what’s fashionable or what someone else likes. Smell, feel, and ask yourself: is this me or is this who I’m trying to appear to be. There is always a difference, and the nose feels it first.
Are you afraid she will follow your path — finding herself only at forty?
A little, to be honest. That’s why I tell her everything I understood so late. I want her process to start earlier. Although, perhaps everyone needs their own time.
If you had to describe yourself through a fragrance, what would it be?
In the morning — Le Male Elixir. It’s sweet and warm, and a bit unexpected for a woman, and I like that. During the day — Baccarat Rouge, reliable and mine. In the evening, if I’m in the mood and not in a hurry — Black Afgano. And if I’m completely honest and talking about myself — Aventus. It smells like a person who knows where they are going. I’m still learning to be that way. Aventus helps.
Table: Oksana's Fragrances and Their Moments
Аромат
Коли
Відчуття
Black Afgano / Блек Афгано
Особливі дні, для себе
Темний, сміливий, найчесніший
Baccarat Rouge 540 / Баккара Руж 540
Робота, люди, вихід
Глибокий, теплий, впізнаваний
Megamare / Мегамаре
Коли хочеться простору
Морський, відкритий, мрійливий
Le Male Elixir / Ле Маль Еліксір
Ранок, початок дня
Солодкий, теплий, несподіваний
Aventus / Авентус
Коли треба нагадати собі, хто ти
Впевнений, фруктово-димний, вільний
All fragrances are available at sweet-store.com.ua, oil perfumes, 50% concentration, lasting up to 70 hours on fabric.
How to Find Your Fragrance: Tips from Those Who Have Found It
The search for perfumes by notes and states is not a quick process, but it’s worth it. Here’s what’s important to know before you start.
FAQ: Answers to Key Questions
How to find your fragrance if you don’t know where to start?
Start with an honest answer to the question: what do you feel right now. Not what image you want to create, but what is inside. A fragrance that matches this state will be found faster than you think.
Can you choose a perfume online without smelling it?
Yes. Read descriptions of states and moments, not notes. If you read and think “this is about me” — it’s likely your fragrance. It’s more accurate than any formal test.
What to do if you like a fragrance in the bottle but not on your skin?
That’s normal and important. Oil fragrances interact with the skin in a special way, sounding different on each person. If it’s not yours on the skin — it’s just not yours. Keep searching.
How to choose your fragrance: is there a simple test?
Yes. Smell the fragrance and ask yourself: is this me or is this who I’m trying to appear to be. If it’s you, without explanations and justifications — that’s it.
How long does a fragrance last on the skin and should you consider this when choosing?
It’s worth considering, but not as the main criterion. Longevity is important for convenience, not for whether it’s your fragrance. Sometimes the perfect scent in feeling lasts shorter than others, and that’s okay — then you just carry it with you and refresh.
At what age is it best to start searching for your fragrance?
Now. At any age. Oksana found hers at forty-one and says she only regrets not starting earlier. But she doesn’t regret the search itself. She smiles and adds that the entire catalog she once flipped through is here became something like a mirror for her — each bottle seemed to ask: is this you?
Oksana finished her coffee. She looked out the window, then at the shelf with the bottles.
She said: you know what’s the strangest thing? I found my fragrance at forty-one. And now I wonder how much more I haven’t found out about myself? It’s a little scary. And a little very interesting.
The cat walked into the room and lay on the windowsill. No one asked him. But it’s always better that way.
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